Editorial

I hate myself for loving straws

I’M JUST SAYIN’

Unless it’s from a bottle or some type of tumbler, I use straws to drink everything, even canned drinks. There are straws in my office. In my kitchen. In the glove compartment of my car.

Thanks for the lack of memories

VILLAGE IDIOT

Where are my keys? This is the second time in a year I’ve lost them.

The first time was at the Wasting Another Day Golf Course, where all the retired guys play. I was the designated driver that day, and the four of us ended up standing outside my car with our clubs — waiting for me to dig my keys out of my bag, open the car and turn on the air conditioning. Except my keys were no longer in my bag.

Free speech, free consequences

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